1. Complaining to Gain Sympathy
Complaining about how bad your life is or how unfair things are to gain other’s attention and sympathy, can backfire quickly. It might work in the short-term because people want to respond with kindness, but if it becomes a habit, you’re more likely to send people running in the other direction.
2. Focusing on Your Point of View Only
Focusing on what you’ve got to say without really hearing other points of view is a habit that will quickly annoy others. Truly listening to other points of view is at the heart of good communication. If you find yourself always thinking about what you’re going to say next, rather than hearing what others have to say, work on your communication skills. Become more sociable by asking follow-up questions or rephrasing what the other person has said before getting back to your point of view.
3. Listening Half-Heartedly
If you think you’re good at multi-tasking while you communicate, you might be surprised at how much you’re missing. It’s disrespectful to other people if you can’t put down your cell phone, pause the TV, or make eye contact when someone is talking with you. Practice giving people your undivided attention whether you’re on the phone or talking to someone in person. Show that you value what they have to say and make a concerted effort to stop trying to multi-task while they’re talking.
4. Taking the Wind out of People’s Sails
If you only point out the negative, people will quickly stop wanting to talk to you. It’s one thing to point out some potential negative aspects of a person’s choices, but it should be balanced with the positive points as well. Whether you’ve got a friend who is dating someone new or a family member who has interviewed for a new job, avoid telling them all the reasons why they aren’t likely to be successful. If you want to be more sociable, offer support and be willing to cheer others on as they attempt to make their way through the world.
5. Attempting to Always Please Everyone
You can’t make everyone happy all the time so there’s no need to try. If you always try to do what others want, you’re actually likely to annoy people. Become more sociable by being willing to share your opinion in respectful ways. Avoid always answering questions with statements like, “I don’t care,” or “Whatever you want is fine.”
6. Arguing About Everything
Argumentative people quickly turn others off. Avoid constantly correcting people or debating with them. You don’t always have to agree with others and you don’t need to attempt to change their minds. Focus more on the relationship than trying to prove that you’re always right.
7. Talking About Yourself too Much
People will grow tired of hearing all about you if you don’t ever offer them a chance to talk about themselves. Ask questions about others and show a genuine interest in learning about their lives. Don’t allow yourself to keep the focus on you and everything happening in your world only.
8. Gossiping About Everyone
If you gossip about everyone else, people will begin to avoid you. Smart people will recognize that they’re not immune to being a victim of your gossip. Avoid spreading rumors or contributing to drama. Avoid talking about other people’s business and become more sociable by sharing ideas and experiences.
9. Bragging About Your Accomplishments
It’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments, but bragging about yourself isn’t an endearing way to attract people. Unless you’re at a job interview, there is no need to tell people how great you are.
10. Dealing with Anger Inappropriately
Whether you tend to yell and scream or simply cut people out of your life every time you feel angry, dealing with anger inappropriately can seriously limit your social life. Learn how to speak up and express yourself in an assertive manner. Asking for what you want is fine, but becoming demanding or hostile isn’t likely to win you any friendship awards.
