Building confidence is a never-ending uphill battle, and cultivating it is a gradual process. But here are 9 easy ways to boost your confidence and help you feel like the worthy person you already are:
1. Don’t obsess over others
I used to believe that happiness and confidence was only for the famous or well-liked, but that’s not the case. Comparing your life to others is dangerous because it normally leaves you feeling worthless in some aspect. They have something you lack or they’re leading a life that you think you want. Keep in mind that everyone is human, and part of being human is dealing with things that aren’t always pleasant. Even LeBron James and Jennifer Lawrence have personal issues that challenge their confidence daily. Instead of focusing on what you lack, focus on your goals, talents, and the things you enjoy doing most. Cultivate your passions instead of trying to change them.
2. It’s okay to work in silence
For whatever reason, our culture is led to believe that the loud-mouth, showoff, pompous people are the most confident of the bunch. We believe worth goes unnoticed if you’re not socially recognized for something. This, too, is not the case. It’s often the ones with the most humility, who prefer work out of the public limelight, who are the most confident. Someone who shows a true display of strength, depth, and pure self confidence is the one who can continue pursuing a dream without a constant stream of public appraisal.
3. Everyone isn’t out to get you
I promise, it’s not just you who thinks you’re a walking target. You’re not the only one worrying about how others think about or perceive you. We all do it. Sadly, and thankfully in this case, we’re all pretty self-absorbed. Our internal dialogue, when we’re not petrified that others are judging us, usually defaults to the bills we have to pay, the chores we wished our roommate did, or the spaghetti we’re eating for the fifth time this week (…and it’s only Wednesday). Everyone else is fixated on something personal that’s looming, not the haircut you think looks bad or the small stain on your pants.
4. It’s okay to laugh it off
Everyone messes up from time to time. It’s pretty unavoidable unless you annex yourself somewhere deep underground or far into the woods, which would be a fairly anti-social existence. An easy way to boost self confidence is to accept your flaws, foibles, and failings in stride, with the understanding that mistakes build character. Every rejection or face plant is an opportunity to learn, grow, and succeed on the next try. Even if you can’t muster a chuckle when you fall, try at least smiling.
5. Let go of what you can’t control
Everyone wants to be in charge of their own life. The things that happen, the people they meet, the way things play out, anything and everything in respect to our life we want to control. Sadly, this just isn’t possible. In an effort to avoid a theological debate, no one can control everything that happens to them. What you can always control, no matter what happens externally, is your attitude and reaction. To echo the previous point, take negative happenings and occurrences in stride with the hope of growth and thankfulness for the learning opportunity.
6. Compliment others
Being internally negative often results in outward negative habits like gossip, insults, and passive aggression. An effective way to help change your negative internal dialogue is to consciously change your habits of praising others. Take a stand against focusing on irritating things other people do and look for the best in them instead. Also, honesty and sincerity go a long way with compliments. People can tell when it’s forced or fabricated. If you try to actively bring out the best in others, you will in turn be well very well-liked.
7. Collaborate with others
We’re all consistently too hard on ourselves. When we initially take on a project, or try to do something, we feel alone and solely responsible for the outcome. This, in turn, causes us to focus on the parts of the project we’re deficient in, lowering self confidence further. So, what if you were to gather like-minded people who share specialized skill sets to make something really great? This will allow and encourage you to focus on something you’re really good at. You’ll not only contribute to something you believe in, but your talents will also be recognized and praised by others.
8. Take yourself out on a date
We’re existing in the most interconnected period in the history of mankind. With the advent of social media networks, it feels like we’re always having six conversations at one time. Even though a slew of likes, comments, and post shares can elevate your self esteem, it can also leave us feeling worthless in times when we’re not getting any social media engagement. Sadly, lots of people, especially millennials, are letting their happiness run parallel with the amount of likes their latest Instagram post received. This is far from healthy. Try taking a step back, leaving your phone in a safe place, and spending some time alone doing one of your favorite activities.
9. Be kind
A simple idea that’s often the hardest to practice. One of the easiest ways to elevate your self worth is to do worthy things for others and yourself. Going the extra mile to help a friend in a pinch or staying an extra hour to bail out a coworker on a huge report will instantly make you feel confident. And, much like the sixth point above, kindness and “good vibes” always seem to find their way back to you. Simply put, if you act in accordance with the Golden Rule, you’ll start to think more highly of yourself. Confidence is evasive, but you can find it. Utilizing the tips and steps listed above is a great place to start. Confidence isn’t built when the answers are known, but instead when you’re ready to face the questions. Featured photo credit: Smiling Girl Wallpaper via wallpaperseries.com
